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This is also fantastic advice for social interactions. ignoring the words finding the felt sense, of them , that would have generated such words https://t.co/oLV1YbmN6r
Especially if you’re a therapist—it’s too easy to think you have an idea of what the client is going through, and so you ignore the specific words they are saying. Specific words chosen by them, that are clues to their resonance. Coherence Therapy emphasises this a lot.
Misogynists do this a lot too—ignoring the specific words someone is saying, because they think they you what you mean. No, sometimes people really do mean what they are saying. AND there is still complexity to what they are actually feeling.
The point is: you are better off, and closer to understanding and respectful empathy, in that scenario, by letting go of the felt sense you think they’re speaking from, and relistening to their words, taking them in with new ascribed sincerity.
ok im going to try to just draw this https://t.co/kUZSEN8Oc1
