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How to stop people-pleasing? A practical exercise: 1. Look at people around you, walking down the street, etc. 2. Realise, “Holy shit, I cannot control them.” 3. Look into their eyes and feel (experience) the complete lack and inability to control them. 4. Feel settled in it.
It’s when you give up the sense of control. As long as you’re trying to control someone else, you’re trying to control their perception of you. To control their perception of you, you have to pretend to be a certain way.
To effectively pretend to be a certain way, you have to really believe it, or be aware of it. This impedes any access you might have to how you actually feel. So you live in a fake world, a world “above”, and have no connection with the below. https://t.co/QJlEryFSzi
I think this is what I mean in all my tweets where I talk about feeling fake. I felt no layer underneath. I need other people to feel anything “above” at all. https://t.co/wCMl8oB43x