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🧵 Thread (18 tweets)

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

Scary. Lots of fears. I want to people please a lot. Going to thread about. The way out of crazy is the way it’s always been: through.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

If I want the women I want, there is no fooling them. Not for long anyway. It is only ever to truly become the him.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Not for them. The change does not happen to win the woman. It happens because the woman’s taste is considered a worthy one, to improve by. One’s actual place along it is irrelevant, because one is already dead.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Dead. Given up. Surrended form and clinging. The thing I wanted to cling to is already dead: the idea that I can have someone or anything. From that place of deadness, what now? Life and partnership.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Reminder that these tweets are each a distinct felt sense coming up in me. They may not be logical, or coherent, or make a point. Just true to who I am in the moment. https://t.co/WyGR6webH5

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

Something @nosilverv said that stuck with me: The point of a thought isn’t a thought. It’s to get to the next one.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Why do I expose my belly like this? I’ve asked myself this a bunch. In the first couple words, I out myself, in just how people please-y I am. It’s because I don’t want anyone to fall in love with the appearance of me.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I put my cards on the table, because I truly believe all people are lovable, and lovable along the lines of whom they are. I want love for the line that I am on.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

My place on it is irrelevant, my progress on it is irrelevant, even the striving is irrelevant. It’s just that in the moment one accepts one’s line and bes themselves, they become beautiful.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I can’t tell if my thoughts are cringe, but I don’t want them to be. I want my deck to change. Not my filter. It doesn’t matter if my thoughts are cringe, because they simply *are* what is.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Any truth or progress is made by moving from where one is, not from where one wished oneself to be.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

You know what it is? It is burning the bridges behind me. https://t.co/bCh10L3ilM

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I have cast my dice. May I burn all bridges I do not wish to take, and may the fire burn bright enough to draw my tribe. https://t.co/oUoF4U2TEo

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

May I burn all the bridges I do not wish to take, and may the fire burn bright enough to draw my tribe.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I am tired of my people-pleasing character. I do not wish to win by it anymore. So I make it public, where it is unlovable.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

I am ok with losing the game. I am more okay with losing than winning on someone else’s term. It’s what ensures success. *strikes match* https://t.co/tZT8lASDYR

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Success in non-referential terms. Will I get there? Maybe not. Maybe my goals are a dingus, and I change them in 6 months. But those 6 months, I will have been on the path.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Six months ago, I killed the most impossible thing of all: ambition. I had spent my entire life ambition-pleasing. I had to do this startup thing. Now it’s like … no . . . you actually sort of already know what you want to do. Go do that. https://t.co/B7TMRopvNe

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthover 4 years ago

I feel done with life. I have nothing left to do. I made it, I don't mind continuing to exist, it’s pleasant, but . . . if it ended here, it would feel complete. 1. Have you felt this way? 2. When / what happens for you now?

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

On the path = being with where I actually am, and going in the direction I actually want to go. As opposed to = being somewhere I’m not, going in a direction I don’t want to be going in.

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6/24/2021
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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s OK that this thread is cringe, because it is where I am. AND it’s ok to take time to edit it, so it doesn’t feel cringe. It’s only the idea that there is not an ok that generates drama. https://t.co/cxABclTGOP

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yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharthabout 4 years ago

Not having dignity is what generates drama, because it’s what says, “save me!!” and you can’t… you can just sort of let people be, and their actions will have the consequences that they have, and that’s ok and it’s that. https://t.co/J1msqJhaJ9

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6/24/2021