Community Archive

🧵 View Thread

🧵 Thread (8 tweets)

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

my friend had v important insight about creepy sex dynamics: his intense fear of rejection lead him to create spaces of ambiguity, where he could get closer to someone he's attracted to without risking an explicit "no"

70 2

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

if his fear coincides with, for example, her fear of being assertive/harsh/etc, that can create conditions where boundaries are crossed, even without him having conscious intent to be coercive or creepy

30 0

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

add intoxication, unequal status dynamics, in-group peer pressure etc etc and let the bad times roll

28 1

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

my advice: practice telling people you are attracted to them and precisely what you would like to do with them sometimes they say No but when they say Yes it is very hot and you don't waste a bunch of time and bad karma

67 4

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

srsly the best 'pick up line' I know is "I find you really attractive, would you like to make out with me?"

20 0

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

maybe some context, preamble or subtle vibing to let her know that I will respond with equal enthusiasm and commitment whether she says Yes or No

13 1

6/21/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

Replying to @RichDecibels

@RichDecibels Feels like leaky energy. https://t.co/dO31rhEqhN

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• about 4 years ago

When unmet needs go unacknowledged (because they’re unsafe), they become leaky. Leaky means you simultaneously signal you want needs to be met and you don’t. This is confusing, and makes people stay away.

309 25

13 0

6/21/2021

Richard D. Bartlett@RichDecibels• about 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@AskYatharth Bingo

4 0

6/21/2021