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with love: in my view, this isnāt ADHD itself, but punitive, coercive self-bullying. Itās likely inherited from the people in your life who didnāt know how to deal with your ADHD. This is *mismanagement* of ADHD (itās not your fault if you donāt know better), not ADHD itself
yelling at people is a horrible strategy for behaviour modification. this is true internally as well. it typically comes from a place of desperation and neediness and it almost always makes things worse rather than better https://t.co/6b2RXJdlYA
if youāre at a point where going about your daily life is the equivalent of having someone screaming in your face, things have gotten pretty dire. itās salvageable but it will take time. you need to rehabilitate your relationship with yourself. You start by putting the gun down https://t.co/bMVE2CufU8
āDO something do ANYTHINGā is a really bad request to ask of anyone, by the way. (Again I say this with love.) Itās a good sign, actually, because it suggests to me that you can improve your relationship by taking some simple steps to get better at asking yourself for help https://t.co/yfaq3SR9dA
Where ADHD *does* come into the picture: In my experience with myself and dozens of others, ADHD is the slipperiest, most irreverent fucker on Earth š which is to say he/she/they will resist your coercion and bullying TO THE DEATH you cannot win this fight. put the gun down. https://t.co/TfdabtYr81
Seeing some tweets on the TL about ADHD and Iām feeling a thread coming up... I have written several in the past but Iām not sure if any directly talk about how (my?) ADHD is slippery and resists negative reinforcement. You canāt frighten/intimidate ADHD away. I tried. For years
I repeat: your ADHD is smarter than you, more stubborn than you, and WILL outmaneuver you. The ADHD guerrillas in your head will outlast the authoritarian govt of your executive function every time, however repressive you get. You cannot win this fight. Put the gun down.
āNo but maybe if I yell harder, hold myself hostage, plead harder, beat myself to within an inch of my life, the strategy that has never worked in my life will suddenly work! I must self-flagellate harder!ā No. It does not work. You cannot win this fight. Put the gun down. https://t.co/KPDvGLvI3X
āOkay! Okay! Iāll put the gun down. But now what? Nothing works in this relationship. I canāt be trusted, I am a bad naughty person who just wants to avoid responsibility and hardship, a loser, a piece of shitā¦ā Breathe. It might not seem like it but all of this is fixable.
At this stage in your relationship (with yourself) your claims and beliefs about yourself have all been warped by neediness, anger, frustration, insecurity. They might be superficially correct in some way, but they are noxious, demeaning, dispiriting. We can fix this
you have to declare a trust bankruptcy. a resentment jubilee. recognise that the approach so far has not worked and that you have the equivalent of a psychic injury that needs treatment and rehabilitation. there is no shame in this.
trust is rebuilt with small baby steps. you have to ask yourself very small, achievable things. ask yourself for a glass of water. go do that. drink. see? you just rebuilt a tiny bit of trust in yourself. thatās a win. thatās proof that you CAN be trusted. baby steps. baby steps. https://t.co/44EBOkNcYT
someone once said something like "I like how visa says he's going to do something, then immediately does it". it's actually an ADHD coping mechanism. if you ask my friends from my teenage days, they'll tell you I was unreliable, full of shit and you couldn't trust anything I said
You can do it. I believe in you, even if you donāt yet believe in yourself. You have within yourself a strength and power than you donāt even know, that has been forgotten. Dark have been your dreams of late. But I come to you now at the turn of the tide https://t.co/LgvoraRuAO
I invite you to see the best in yourself. https://t.co/5PY5Yy92bL
