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So I tried dating myself, and I had the best best bf in the world 😌 I (he) took care of me, reminded me my comfort *matters,* and I exist, and I can be kind to myself. It made me a richer and more content human being. What about having the best gf in the world? 👩❤️👩 https://t.co/lBishybfbz
What my anima feels like: - reflected strongly in L and E (two crushes I had, felt so much stranger, tighter around them) - wants a certain aesthetic, to move in its direction - has a certain direction I want to go in, and won’t let me settle for less
I used to hate my anima for this. I was the happiest, most content man in the world in January before I met L. My anima found its reflection in her, and from there, I was entranced. I wanted—needed—something from her so badly. She had something I didn’t have. https://t.co/ImSQA6VJvb
Now . . . I see it differently. The anima is part of *me.* There’s something I’m unhappy about—not settled with. Yes, I was content, and all this, but I yearned for something more: a certain aesthetic way of living, unpretentiously, that I saw in L and E and wanted for myself. https://t.co/TiXg6hJYbW
⚠️ Common Trap with IFS, parts work, etc. It’s sooo easy to get into the mode of “I’m going to let my inner kids play.” “My inner child wants this!” Noo! Go let *yourself* play! You want this! Fuck what the child wants. What do you want? You are the child.
And thank god my anima wants this for me, because who else would want? I feel more grateful & self-identified with my desire. *I* want to cultivate that aestheticism, in the same *I* wanted to cultivate happiness, and f-ing got it, in a way I never would’ve if I didn’t set out to https://t.co/bgJcNhDI9C
What does it look like to take that reflection of myself I saw in L and E and recognise it as my own? To honour it as part of my desires, for myself. It is a rich and luxuriant part, who can guide me in the direction of growth and grace if I follow and let it.
I will be spending more time with this part, and look to date myself this way. The same way me having the best bf looked like taking little chivalrous steps that made me feel so loved as if my comfort mattered . . . https://t.co/yDVpGM50G9
. . . the best gf maybe looks like little aesthetic, narrative tugs she pulls on me, guiding me in the most narratively beautiful directions. https://t.co/C08UMl2acy
An actionable step. https://t.co/jvAvh872UT
That I fear their judgment is not because of the judgment; it’s because of the pain already there. My pain already exists. If I am with it . . . strange, judgment holds no sway. Judgment doesn’t create pain. Only reminds us of our own. https://t.co/XJS4MJZKtH