Community Archive

🧵 View Thread

🧵 Thread (21 tweets)

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Why does this matter? https://t.co/kAUXzeyc1h

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

1️⃣ Care about her. Give a damn about her, as a person, and there is nothing that can go wrong. You will never lose sight of her. You will never lose sight of yourself. You will stay grounded, fiercely loving.

19 0

2 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

To see her and wish the best for her is to not go blind. It is to keep my eyes open to the magnificent 1-player game I’m always already playing.

1 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

To lose the sense of wanting the best for her . . . is to lose sight of her as a person. She becomes just a symbol in my mind, a stand-in for my needs, in a 2-player game of extraction.

4 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s sad. It’s not honouring of her presence, and it’s not honouring to me to be stuck in a 2-player game anymore.

3 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

To wish the best for them isn’t /for her/. It’s for me. I care about her.

1 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s easy to go crazy. Resentment, fairness, needs, anxiety. Dating isn’t trivial. But keep sight of them as a person . . . and you just sort of know what to do.

0 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s a secret of the well-integrated mind that all we need to do with our consciousness usually is to just guide our perception and let it respond. Guiding our perception isn’t always trivial.

4 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

To put someone on a pedestal is inhumane in the same way objectification is. The person is lost, the symbol has entered, and whatever happens isn’t with them.

25 2

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

The mistake to not make is to suppress the symbol. The symbol is good. The symbol is inevitable. The symbol is a recognition of form in the shape of your needs and traumas. It’s useful and protective, and it’s hardly effective to suppress it.

5 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Just let the symbol be. Call it out even. And feel just beyond the TV screen of your consciousness the touch of your bodies interacting.

5 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

I’m phrasing this in the dating context because that’s what’s up for me right now, and I’ll probably look at this again in that context. But it goes for anything—any people or any doing. This is the nature of our consciousness.

6 0

1/6/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

There's the kind of boy who feels nervous about preparing gifts because it can feel like he lost. That he has to give gifts means he lost. That he’s not receiving enough back means he lost. It’s not incoherent.

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

But the effort can be /owned/. Considered an expression of oneself. Why not make the girl happy? Why not woo? https://t.co/FHTC5OTr9d

2 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

The femme equivalent might be dressing up for him, wearing what he likes, putting up the hair every day the way he likes it. There can be a fear that if I dress that way, I am being exploited. Not an independent, self-reliant woman. . . . then there can be the ownership.

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Not into stanning trad or poly or any particular ideology. I am into thinking about what makes expression feels ours, and what makes owning it so tricky when it comes to relationships.

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

The word deserving is weird, but sth about: If you want to woo her, you deserve it. If you don’t want to woo someone, you deserve that too. Do you want to woo? If so, woo and love every moment of it. If not, don’t. Find a friend-turned-relationship. https://t.co/Mk81SU3Uar

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

I’ve never felt shy of commitment. My college partner and I moved in week 3 and never looked back. My other 6mo+ relationships, I was friends with them before, and I am friends with them after.

8 0

1 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

If you want to woo, woo. If you don’t want to woo, don’t! Be heartfelt with your self every step of the way.

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

@Malcolm_Ocean has a better articulation of this I hope he'll put in a blog post soon.

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It almost doesn’t matter if the gift isn’t well received, because it was about vibe first and foremost, and that can still be there. How can gifts not be well received coming from place of sincerity? https://t.co/kYKIzXJq6w

Michael Ashcroft@m_ashcroft• over 5 years ago

1] There is a huge difference between being *serious* and being *sincere*. Alan Watts touches ever so gently on this when he talks about Waking Up, as in this video. What it comes down to is how you play the game of your life (and it is a game). https://t.co/dFb3OPERVw

411 66

3 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

It’s only when they become serious does it start to feel like a drag. Even that can be saved by naming and holding it. Anything can be named. https://t.co/MYR4uURd36

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

if you want to express neediness, you can but it’s a bit on you to demonstrate and show you have the awareness and head on you to be in your space, and recognise the relational container we are always in a relational space https://t.co/CZD4w6awYc

5 0

0 0

1/7/2021

yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Replying to @AskYatharth

Suppression is never necessary. At the same time, we don’t have to name everything—selective expression is ok, we are in a relational space. What do you want to happen? Doesn’t make one inauthentic.

1 0

1/7/2021