Community Archive

🧵 View Thread

🧵 Thread (8 tweets)

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

The thing about “vibe” is you don't get it by going for “it.” You get it by relentlessly respecting your own preferences, and joy sparks. h/t @VajraVibe in my DMs https://t.co/bTWQQcF5pG

28 1
11/26/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

What is being yourself? The virgin says what comes to his head—not really in sync with where the other person is at. The chad says whatever comes to her head—but she’s entrained with the other person, she’s in a relational space. It changes what comes to her head.

11 1
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

When the virgin is himself, it’s from his head. When the chad is herself, it’s from her gut, from heart, from pussy, but importantly, also head. She’s all there.

7 0
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

To entrain with the virgin means feeling cut off from their body head down. To entrain with the chad means feeling your own full body come alive.

6 0
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

The former doesn’t feel very fun. Because it’s not. The virgin himself might be used to it. The second can feel terrifying/painful/not always pleasant. But it feels right/good anyway. All your embodied cognition is making the same predictions. https://t.co/1RVCCgS0wF

4 0
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

Sometimes the chad acts without caring who’s seeing while the virgin stays aware of who’s judging. It all sounds very contradictory. But it comes down to:

3 0
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

1) co-entrainment. The virgin is out of sync, the chad is entrained with the other. Think dancing. Doesn’t mean doing things for the other person. Just means being in sync. https://t.co/dWmPqUlk18

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago

Co-entrainment is rapidly becoming my organising principle for understanding human interactions.

36 3
4 0
12/12/2020
Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• over 4 years ago
Replying to @AskYatharth

2) self-respect. The virgin needs something from the other person to feel ok, the chad relentlessly respects themselves already, and so frees the other person to feel how they want to feel. https://t.co/CIilv6tF9k

Placeholder
yatharth ༺༒༻@AskYatharth• almost 5 years ago

@liminal_warmth As smn who was that guy once, my life changed when someone explained to me, in kind and patient terms, that when I got overly attached, the problem was they as the other person weren’t free to feel whatever they wanted to anymore They had to feel a certain way for me to be ok

128 6
7 1
12/12/2020