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Objection in my DMs: “I can’t just choose to love myself!” 🤷 Let’s talk. https://t.co/0zL4QiW8Ij
💀 societal broke: drill into kids: they better work hard → to be “good” 🦄 liberal woke: tell traumatised adults they have “inherent worth” → so they can be loved ✨ meaningness bespoke: dismantle learned emotional schemas to love yourself because you f’ing want to
If your answer was anything but “holy f i love me,” go back to poll #1 and look at that object till you realise you can love it and anything you fucking want to because you can. It’s a fierce, protective “I love and cherish you sort of thing.” Then come back to poll #4.
Self-love is that exact same thing, just applied to yourself It’s not an assessment. It’s not an evaluation. It fixes ZERO problems and leaves you exactly where you where before (READ LINKED THREAD) https://t.co/3B3Wq3gvMe
You’d always just made self-love mean more than it had to So we cut, cut, cut—cut down your notion of what you think self-love means, till you realise it as a simple choice Not for any reason. Not out of any attraction. Literally just a choice made because it’s convenient for u
This is my most distilled set of Qs for cracking open boundless self-love There are longer routes, but I haven’t seen anything more direct to get people to the point where “Do I love myself” feels like really simple and sincere yes DM me if you get stuck
If you’re having trouble with poll #1, try this: https://t.co/8v3cW6PVZb
@Knipps Initially, the world can feel dead. “What do you mean, love that frisbee over there?” Too caught up. But it’s possible. You were a kid once. You probably loved all sorts of objects then. I bet you could point an ice cream, a toy, a blanket, a person . . Something you loved. https://t.co/j39m7GpUWl
If you’re having trouble with poll #3 (objections coming up), remember that you /don’t have to argue with them/. https://t.co/ggwtMdKPeO
@prerationalist Imagine your crush. He’s gorgeous, he’s sitting right there, you have him in front of you. And he’s saying he doesn’t think he’s hot enough. No, you can’t really like him, you’re just saying that. Do you stop for a fucking second to argue with him? No! He’s an idiot!
If you’re still having trouble with #3 (parts of resent yourself, there’s baggage), try imagining it from the PoV of someone else. Try this before moving on to #4. Most people can empathise with themselves way better looking at themselves as a third-party. https://t.co/z7xuYpPmJI
@prerationalist Most people are quite successful actually at empathising with themselves when they imagine seeing themselves through the eyes of someone else. It’s an evolved trick—we’re just good at seeing through the eyes of other people. We had to be.
@Malcolm_Ocean Personally, I found it unfucking to realise I could still care about myself without having resolved my objections. It’s a “yes, and” sort of thing. “You [I] have objections against liking myself, and I like you. So?” https://t.co/CVmkgNWD5G
@prerationalist You do need one thing though. You need to be assured enough to know /you/ still like your crush when she doesn’t think you do or shit-tests you. That means getting in touch with your tummy, and not losing the internal readout that says, “I like her,” when she challenges you. https://t.co/hVbrDRQhw2
@Malcolm_Ocean The objections still exist. But I don’t have to pretend they don’t just to feel good. It feels looser and more decoupled. I can object to my own self-love (“hey yatharth i think you’re layering”) while also not denying the felt reality that I do feel something like love https://t.co/0zL4QiW8Ij
💀 societal broke: drill into kids: they better work hard → to be “good” 🦄 liberal woke: tell traumatised adults they have “inherent worth” → so they can be loved ✨ meaningness bespoke: dismantle learned emotional schemas to love yourself because you f’ing want to
@AskYatharth Yeah well-put. I've sometimes articulated something similar as: https://t.co/1RZj3ZxtkS
@AskYatharth I still think that in general suggesting to people to choose to feel differently can produce layering even if that's not what's going on for you internally choice is weird https://t.co/6Jq1DuDUZF
choice is weird I get it re external decisions - choosing to get on the flight or not, to accept a proposal or not, etc but people often talk about choosing things like an attitude, stance, mindset, or relationship to something, and this feels off to me as of a few months ago