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If I say, "something shifts, through feeling your feelings as sensations in the body"... 1. I know what this means, and can do this deliberately - maybe with some preparation 2. I know what this means, and can't do it reliably - maybe I've experienced it once, or occasionally
@SarahAMcManus I am angry. I have angry. Subject. Object. Desire to respond by doing X. Suggestion to respond by doing X. Vague, imprecise. Multitude of micro-sense-feelings. Behind me, unlookable. Beside me, lookable. Head/heart/gut feels bad. Sense-emotion is “in” head/heart/gut.
@SarahAMcManus I don’t always prefer feelings-as-sensation. Fuck that. Dancing with other human beings—beautiful, embodied relational dances with them—come of feelings-as-feelings. We are stirred by their base desires and passions and identification with those states of consciousness.
@SarahAMcManus Fuck thinking feelings-as-sensation is somehow the “truth.” Fuck thinking the first time you get into depersonalised capital-A Awareness that this is somehow the truth about the universe, how could you have been so blind. Yes, it is truth, yes, it is aesthetic, but to think—
@SarahAMcManus —but to think it is The Truth, to find feelings-as-senation epistemically superior somehow and so never get in the mud to play with feelings-as-feelings again . . . . . . it is to lose the drag in life. https://t.co/oGZrp4ad3C
@SarahAMcManus This work is a spiral staircase. Each time you shift, it is time to shift back. To the same place, yet different. Feelings-as-sensations is a checkpoint. Then you return to normalcy of feeling. You trace lines familiar with renewed capacity https://t.co/Nn6P44hYrx
@nclaurence @TGinormous It’s a subtle switch, a reverse gear. The direction was backward all along. We spend our lives going up to the mountain. So we can one day turn and walk back down. To the same spot, yet different. For we are looking the other way.
@SarahAMcManus Where before we acted without knowing we were acting. This time we act, but with just as much heart. We saw horror movies were fake. So we could return to watching them. We saw through gender. So we could play drag.
I'd heard the phrase for years, and it was really only this year that I became able to "do" it I started shi-ne meditation, and found a hard-to-describe move that I could make, to transform resistance / vague bad feels into intense body sensation - and move it through!