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The thing that really screws me up about social rules and norms is that for every case where someone can say "can you please not do X, X makes me feel Y," someone else can say "can you please not make yourself feel Y when I do X, I'm just doing X but don't want you to feel Y"
"Can you please not misgender me? It makes me feel awful." -> "Can you please not feel awful when I gender you based on your sex at birth rather than your identified gender? That's just the framework I'm using, I'm not trying to hurt you here."
"Can you please clean the kitchen after you use it? It frustrates me when you do this." -> "Can you please not feel frustrated when I don't clean the kitchen after using it? I'm just leaving it for later, I'm not doing it to frustrate you."
The point about any of these examples isn't that either the first or the second request is always bad or good it's that we have wildly inconsistent rules about how we treat these cases; there seems to be barely any rhyme or reason to it
Because any of this can always be flipped: "Can you please not feel unsafe when I get angry? It makes me feel guilty for getting angry." "Can you please not feel icky when I breastfeed my kid in public? It makes me feel bad about doing it." And so forth.
@Elodes12 mutual respect and tolerance are born from love and acceptance. if you love others as you love yourself, it costs nothing to respect their wishes, and in fact brings the benefit of good will and invites reciprocity.