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this is so close to and yet so far away from my brand. yes, men need space to embrace their feelings, and, many will *never* agree to do it in this feminized way there's already way too much messaging out there that says men are only good insofar as they give up masculinity https://t.co/hQnWZy83xV
one of my biggest moments of emotional expression this year happened at a masculinity workshop during an exercise on accessing warrior energy - i was supposed to get a staff member to back off by saying "back off" and meaning it. i found that i couldn't. it felt wrong to yell
what i did instead was roar "I WILL NEVER TREAT ANYONE THE WAY MY FATHER TREATED ME. I WILL BE A BETTER MAN THAN MY FATHER AT ALL COSTS." then i burst into tears the workshop lead said "take a knee, gentlemen." and everyone else - staff, participants - knelt around me
that was one of the most sacred moments of my life. that lead understood what kind of support was appropriate for a room full of men to give a man crying about his father. it was not "cozy, fluffy & warm." there were no face masks. they witnessed and respected me *as men*
you want to give men what they need to cry? disentangle crying from femininity. that association is modern and unnecessary. the ancient male heroes wept freely https://t.co/7E6g6nw31M https://t.co/Aep2vFGJm3
and, jelena, if you're reading this, i appreciate your intent, and there's also a time and place for men to learn how to be held by and embrace feminine energy. but there are men who will never do that as long as they feel that they're also being asked to disown their masculine
@QiaochuYuan Thank you for saying this. And by the same token, we need to disentangle rage from masculinity. Because some of us don't have access to it and we're hurting. https://t.co/LZxcLSnvfu
Tired: sobSquad Wired: rageSquad 😄 Crying has been my natural method of releasing emotions while rage has been unavailable to me. When I cry the child is expressing its frustration, but when I finally expressed rage, the adult was saying I'm here to protect you.
@QiaochuYuan Wow this sounds very similar to my experience. I’m no longer thinking it was a coincidence that I had this breakthrough in a men’s circle https://t.co/ZWc10tYD7L
@QiaochuYuan Yeah, I feel it. I don't share the same object level thought ("THE WAY MY FATHER TREATED ME") as you, but to energetically and aggressively assert a positive emotion -- it's a kind of vulnerability that's so touching. I cried a bit. 🥲