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A koan to 3-months-ago me: Master: Let go of expectations. Type A student: *tries* Type A student: *trying intensifies* Master: You are trying to overcome overcoming. Student: OH ****! You’re right!! So what to do?? It’s a paradox. Master: *pauses* 1/n
Master: I have only one thing to say to you. I’m sorry. You cannot change. Overcoming is part your machinery, just as much feeling pain when I stub my toe is part of mine. You will stay like this forever. Student: “But but but—” In that moment, the student was enlightened.
Here’s @CountJ0ecool grappling with this. Could help you to read. https://t.co/U2i3uzKuDN
Notice how he confronts assertions he does not like. “I do not like this” . . . and yet it remains so. https://t.co/UcayyrnFS7
Apt for this moment: The Litany of Gendlin “𝘗𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵.” You have been enduring the painfulness of this truth for your entire life. https://t.co/wTVVQUSqB2
“what do I want?” “ASK YOURSELF” Harsh 😅 But true We seek permission. Why? It is difficult to step into our power. Why? Because your entire life, your entire conscious, verbal life, you have been occupied with the idea that you must do things right. https://t.co/DcT1UzS9GT
2. You genuinely have no guidance or experience with this new way of being whatsoever. 3. You have no security & reassurance anymore that what you are doing is the “right“ thing to do. Being present with all those truths 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘴. And yet they remain true.
What I can offer you is this: 1. You were stupid. You wasted your light chasing this notion of “right.” And that will never, ever change! 😇 In a way, you don’t have to do anything anymore. Because you can never disown this past https://t.co/XpTKOKqrN1
For the first month, you’ll feel very lost, and then you’ll come back to me saying, “OMG! I had no idea I had such a powerful sense of hearing. I’d never really developed it or known how to use it before.” Well duh. https://t.co/QLDv5m8Y14
You are relearning from scratch how to navigate the world and select actions. You’ll need help. There are exercises. People on this corner of Twitter are hella friendly. DM me. DM someone else. I did, and I’m hella glad for it (looking at you 🥰 @captain_mrs)
3. Giving up this notion of the right answer, I had to give up the reassurance & security it brought me that what I was doing what I should be doing. Losing this extremely painful. https://t.co/Z30K7mK2u0
@AskYatharth There's the meme of "hah, younger me was stupid" and at some point you realize that you will always think of young-you as stupid, and that present-you will one day become young again. "Hah, I am currently stupid" is a hard sell, but "the only thing I know is nothing" or smth
@AskYatharth Digging through the linked threads there: https://t.co/ASpiSwjZ8g It's not about being *enough*, it's about doing your best, and accepting that your childlike feeble attempts will be cringe, but that that is O K
@AskYatharth You wouldn't beat up a child for not knowing how to do something. How would they know how to do it well? They're a child, they literally do not know any better. So, don't be too harsh on future past-you either. You're doing your best. https://t.co/M5WXD90nQt
@AskYatharth There's the meme of "hah, younger me was stupid" and at some point you realize that you will always think of young-you as stupid, and that present-you will one day become young again. "Hah, I am currently stupid" is a hard sell, but "the only thing I know is nothing" or smth
@AskYatharth Do you go to college to learn? Or to get credentials? Or maybe permission to act like you know things. https://t.co/6Xc2NODck2 There is a well-lit path of what you're "supposed to" do. Stepping off of that is scary, maybe even dangerous.
I never got a degree, I make more money than lots of people with degrees, and still every few months my mum is like “wouldn’t it be nice if you got a degree dear”. It’s not even really about earning potential IMO, it’s about status/class https://t.co/U3sKUmYvIN
@AskYatharth One thing I noticed that had already fallen away was the sense that I ought to do something Big or Important So to shift from "what is best to do" to "what do I want to do" is like learning a new language https://t.co/Pjov0IUVPH
@TheOrangeAlt I think the thing that let me give myself breathing room to stop and do unimportant shit for a while is: The most important thing anyone can do is ___, but *I* would not be the best person for that job. And forcing myself to do something won't magically make me good at it.
@AskYatharth Which is why this tweet from @WeftOfSoul was such a jolt of lightning, by succinctly framing the core ingredients, giving the equivalent of a phrasebook for common situations. https://t.co/szWgyt9LYh Similar (though not quite identical) to the idea of Ikigai https://t.co/9d9zq6V7Fd
