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current models of fear (compiled from personal experience, second hand internal family systems, CFAR lectures with Val, and The Fear Book) fear is a red herring because fear is a tag team, and the fear you interface with on a felt sense is the floating green head https://t.co/C4U65mjoN2
The Fear Book describes a lot of judo flip moves in response to fear don't fight fear on it's own terms if you're going "ggggggggggggr I've got to face my fears!" you've already bought into the false reality that fear....
IFS has you think of lots of subagents in your head. Exiles hold onto traumatic memories, and Protectors get generated to keep you out of similar experiences that trigger the exiles trauma these protectors often can panic/veto power
i map the work of Protectors onto experiencing fear, the exiles are the man behind the curtain Exiles always have reasons for what they fear, even if they aren't "good" reasons so: to deactivate fear (protectors) you need to convince the exile you're looking out for it
from this flows the flow: - notice fear - escape the panic of the protector, find the exile - dialogue with exile, see what it wants, see what will and won't change it's mind ..... - exile feels/is in good hands, it stops summoning protectors - PROFIT
WAIT how does this jive with Fear Book? Isn't this negotiating with fear? TFB really hammers in the idea that fear would rather have YOU die than it die. That fear wants to make your world small. that's really fucking intense. "Fear IS NOT your friend, and you must judo"
one must develop the Void Piercing Squint (use the Clint Squint for inspiration) fear wants you to react you must squint squint until it starts to sweat squint until it stumbles over its rehearsed lies you need not act, at least not yet but you must squint https://t.co/qz74v3acuS
"You fear things because **some part of you knows you can do them**, and may therefore attempt them. Your fear responds to this potential in an attempt to dissuade you." fear only ever says no. this is part of makes it unreliable https://t.co/VpBzOowVxz
"respect your fear" addage.unpack() respect your fear is a counter to "fuck fear! If you ever feel scared, do it! instantly! no consulting fear!" this is pure reaction, and is still being controlled by fear. instead of using *other* judgement system, your system is fear=do
you can fear *actually dangerous* shit as much as shit that can't hurt you parkour has incredibly stark examples of this. sometimes you can't make the jump let's personify an exile for a moment. you're really scared of some shit. if the driver SWERVES everytime.../
/... you mention what you're scared of, you become convinced there's a lunatic in the drivers seat, and get MORE scared you might even start refusing to communicate what you're scared of, and just get aggressively bored of the conversation when the scary thing comes up hi me :)
so "FuCk FeAr!" can make things worse. especially since you're probs also going to make some decisions that fuck you up I don't think Fear is something to respect. But you do have to respect not being able to make the jump today.
the alternative route: build an embodied model of your world that you can consult instead of consulting fear this is why i love parkour. you will be safe and brave by building up a robust understanding of what you can and can't do through experience and progressions
at this point, I can almost always tell within in a few seconds if I can make a jump. then comes dealing with the fear fear can help me by prompting me to double check, but the real move happens when you SQUINT past the fear, and act
recommended: getting bored by your fear. This requires a strong squint. when you first get a strong "nope, not happening", you want to go do something else don't stand on the ledge. do it long enough and you might just get bored of being scared and do it :)
exiles sometimes have useful information about dangerous situations. memories of how things have gone bad in the past. but fear itself, the thing that is most present and most wants you to engage with it, is just there to be big and scary and shout "NO!"
parkour is awesome because the whole process of dealing with fear is so straightforward other parts of life are harder you've got lots of spaghetti towers of behavioral cludges, perfectly designed for keep you okay in your last environment https://t.co/3si7uoUKsi
one exile generates fear that causes behavior that creates exile that generates fear that causes behavio......... jiggling on link of the tower often can excite so much fear from all different sources that you're just paralyzed
one moral: you've got to train train to be actually capable, to act on the world in a way that works and train to get the exiles to chill out and realize they're in good hands (they have to actually be in good hands, they can smell bullshit)
coherence therapy / memory reconsolidation stuff: you don't always need to train the scary thing. "I'm scared if I speak up people will hate me" you might already have lived plenty examples of this not being true, you might just need the right mental moves for it to sink in
i haven't practiced this shit too much, but been vibing in that direction. my mental move of squinting is sorta getting at it. the squint is trying to feel past the fear, into my embodied models, get in touch with REAl best guess at what might happen https://t.co/QPsLqQ1upG
lol, honestly I can talk a lot about the ecosystem of fear, but not much about the mental moves. it's honestly all contained in the void piercing squint it's a thing I do, i know its type sig and its context, but it's mechanics are all embodied https://t.co/OVx3MdAFl4
one must develop the Void Piercing Squint (use the Clint Squint for inspiration) fear wants you to react you must squint squint until it starts to sweat squint until it stumbles over its rehearsed lies you need not act, at least not yet but you must squint https://t.co/qz74v3acuS
Beautiful :) https://t.co/VpBzOowVxz
"What I’d like to focus your attention on here is the first stage – the call of the jump. This is perhaps the most important part of the entire process, and the most revealing. Why? Because the very act of noticing a jump or a challenge is usually in itself a sign that you are...
...ready or nearly ready to do it. Jumps that are far beyond your current level of ability, mental or physical, you simply won’t even notice. You’ll walk right by. If someone else points it out, it won’t scare you deeply because you know that you are not going to attempt it. Yet"