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this is roughly correct protip be sure to memorize the number of someone you feel comfortable calling to get you an attorney before your arraignment youll lose your phone when youre booked and they dont like you looking through it https://t.co/r9iyeqMlk9
fourth protip if you MUST get arrested be sure to carry $20 or so in your wallet this will be credited (at least ime) to your phone tab so you can make calls out to (i) stay sane and (ii) coordinate with your attorney both are important
fifth protip don't say shit to anyone about your alleged crime all calls are recorded, all inmates are potential snitches, all cops will definitely fuck you with your own words I was very careful in my phrasing Guess what cop ignored that in his notes JUST SHUT UP
six protip if you're about to be arrested be dressed presentably before police arrive they will not give you the opportunity to get dressed before hauling you off and they will not give you a ride home after your release
seventh protip being jailed for a crime you didnt commit could hypothetically seem romantic but naw it just sucks balls even so drawing on stories of people in similar circumstances is a nice source of strength if you have it in advance
that is all once every few years is enough to reflect on my weekend playing chess against myself and pondering signs printed in comic sans warning me not to harass the troglodyte guards who suddenly had endless power over my life and person mostly,
addendum: @PDGumshoe tells you how to find a defense attorney https://t.co/wM5dsQoqHk