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noticing something you like in someone else may be harder for some people than others. my suspicion is that complimenting may be difficult for misanthropists, for example, if they are not inclined to notice beauty in their fellow man; or for those who react with fear to social
fortunately this is a skill that may be consciously trained for example make a list of ten people in your life go down that list and for each think of something about them that is laudatory it doesnt need to be a big thing--often subtleties are better than prominent traits
eventually, you can learn to see Good in others reflexively beyond embiggening ones Charm, this is an important trait to develop for living a happy life (naturally it should be tempered with Prudence but the impulse ought to be there)
to do this thoroughly--and I'm not sure it can be done entirely consciously--one must have some intuition about another's story; show their intuition; and guide the complimentee to the new story this is a necessarily intimate exercise
Some pitfalls. Do not lie when you deliver a compliment. This is harder than an honest compliment, for one thing, as it is difficult to tell a story around a kernel of falsehood. It also may deceive the complimented and deprive them of a chance to live a better, truer story.
Relatedly, don't give empty compliment. It's important to _perceive_ something good and true, and share that story. Grasping at unheartfelt tropes will ring hollow and never stick, and over time people will notice and devalue such statements.
Closing thoughts. People need to be seen and need to be loved (there may not be a difference). Giving someone a compliment shows that you perceive them, perhaps better than they do themselves. Compliments ennoble the giver and recipient alike. Be excellent to each other. ❤️
appending this lovely real life example ps dont forget to send thank you cards after Christmas https://t.co/lG6fPeDPC2