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๐งต Thread (11 tweets)
(Unedited notes from my meditation journal, 2019-08-29) ๐งโ๏ธ๐งต > Tried doing the "let thoughts pass through, stay uninvolved" thing but I don't think I was particularly successful at it (maybe this is missing the point?) https://t.co/acVVvZt5Bq
@PeterBorah @meditationstuff @Timber_22 @QiaochuYuan @jondubin @utotranslucence @_awbery_ Ah yeah: > When thoughts come โ let them come. When thoughts go โ let them go. If you find yourself involved in a stream of thoughts, let go of your involvement with them. Keep letting go of involvement. Remain uninvolved. Just let go. Whatever happens โ let it be as it is.
> I had quite a lot of narrative about being bored, wasting my time, being bad at the thing... And I think I was relatively able to differentiate that as narrative my mind was spinning rather than as true. Which maybe means I was doing quite well at remaining uninvolved! Ha.
(Above is unedited journal entry. What follows is reflection.) This experience was very profound for me, because it illuminated an insight: what if the part of me that was saying I was bored was... incorrect? what if I wasn't actually bored? what if I was just... sitting there?
Suddenly my complaint-voice just seemed like a voice, not necessarily a connected with an actual experience at all, let alone my whole experience. Simply a concept of boredom, or something like that.
This experience affected my experience later that day of being in conversations. I noticed the same complainy part of me was restless, vaguely wanting *something else* to be happening. Afraid of... something. But I found space to sit and discover what might emerge.
I realized today that this experience is similar to the experience of working out and a voice says "I can't, I'm done." Almost always, this is a concept of done, not the body actually giving up. I try to push this edge sincerely but not violently. https://t.co/meeMoCyHT1
@davidklaing @meditationstuff @reasonisfun @RatCritical Also I think Jocko groks that the narrative mind, no matter how loud, is not equivalent to the truth of your experience. Voice may say "I can't". This = opportunity to playfully ask "is that so?" Not coercing yourself is more of a puzzle than it seems: https://t.co/gHGNQ9WKN2
Journal 08-30 (next day) > Did "stay uninvolved" again, and didn't have nearly the level of complaint as yesterday, but near the end I noticed some impatience... the kind of waiting pattern that Kaj described. I tried to get curious about that, or moreover to just allow it to be.
> Earlier in the meditation I'd been thinking about a lot of things, interesting things, including the idea of somehow having a pricing model for https://t.co/lRiGUxBh9B like slack, where you can build up data for free but then can't access most of it until/unless you pay... ๐ค
> Anyway yeah, I feel like I know what it means to stay uninvolved with judgement chatter, but less what it means to stay uninvolved with problem-solving or explorative thought. And this is related to my meditation notes/tweetstorm from a few weeks ago. ๐ https://t.co/wfEHZW1iwu
๐งโ๏ธ๐งตI'm going to share some recent things from my meditation journal, because it seems something unusual is happening... So either that's of interest, or ppl can tell me "nope, this isn't unusual, carry on!" In any case, maybe some of the imagery here will be helpful.
Meditations since then have mostly been remarkably unremarkable. I sit. I am not as comfortable as I would like. My thoughts wander. They recenter. There's a kind of boringness to it and yet I'm not bored, I'm just there. My learning edge now I think is to stay clear & alert. ๐๏ธ https://t.co/uGuUzFojJA
