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you ever play one of those games where there's a balancing act you have to do? like, a lockpick interface, where you have to get the touchpad or something just right? i'm thinking there's something similar about the right amount of self-regard, self-awareness. it's like surfing https://t.co/fnKIjBosWa
I circled around this a while ago with "it can sometimes be more narcissistic to be private than public, if you're doing it to protect your self-image from scrutiny" it's a balancing act, you can fail by going too hot or you can fail by going too cold https://t.co/NO85IkwpFq
a thought I have – which can sound really hostile, harsh, unforgiving, etc – but I say it with sincere love and affection – I think many of people who are in a lot of emotional pain are trapped in a certain kind of narcissistic self-obsession. I do NOT see this as moral failure https://t.co/fhsyAYqAJv
why am I such a terrible person, do I deserve redemption, what will it take to make me feel like I do, why am I such a burden to other people, I feel so guilty, ashamed your feelings are real, and you shouldn't deny them but you shouldn't be drowning in them either https://t.co/7qvSaIEKns
a funny thought I've sometimes had while listening to friends confide in me over the years is "lol, some part of you is clearly enjoying the performance of this monologue even as you talk about being miserable" and enjoyment is not a bad thing!! even hypocrisy I think is OK tbh
how does this play out in groups? people semi-consensually get into Games People Play sitcom scenarios there are exceptions to this rule, obviously, and people who think they are the exception (and might be right!) are particularly vocal – but once you see it you can't unsee it https://t.co/5WBIeoPltG
When you say you hate yourself, at some level, you respect the part of you (A) that hates the rest of you (B). you give A authority. you give A respect. Why? Why did A do to deserve respect? If it's nothing, why do you give A any legitimacy at all? self-loathing is narcissistic
and to be clear + to repeat myself, I do not think of narcissism as a moral failure. to me, it's just sort of a trait, like a bug. maybe a feature. whatever. it is what it is. ideas like "narcissism is bad" and "narcissists are bad" IMO are actually unhelpful
self-loathing is a remarkably elaborate, robust and effective system of making sure that you stay the same https://t.co/CEns791Fev
And if it isn't clear, I have nothing against people who loathe themselves 😂 I'm just describing what I see, and it's actually quite interesting to me. it's like watching reruns of Friends. There's a comforting familiarity to it, which I imagine is what people like about it https://t.co/mA3D0LfyFv
not too tight, not too loose https://t.co/7FKSI4XnKP