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I've been thinking about emotional "power sources" for behavior. Lots of it is powered by fear these days, which has predictable unfortunate effects. Last year I did a lot of stuff powered by hope, which I eventually learned isn't that great either. That shook me, to learn.
The problem with being powered by hope is that you can't look at things that you sense would cause you to lose hope. The hope becomes intertwined with a fear of losing hope. You get addicted to it and it distorts your behavior. I hurt someone I cared deeply about this way.
Spectrum of Ecstasy talks about a place beyond hope and fear. I haven't been able to stabilize this at all but I think I've seen tiny glimpses of it. Sometimes I'm powered by something that doesn't feel like hope or fear, but like... "rightness"?
"The point of viewing all reality as a charnel ground is to annihilate existential hope": https://t.co/G0xVlaD2a4 https://t.co/FOHkijaulW
Also this poem, which I wrote in a fit of rightness and could probably benefit from chanting: https://t.co/gjcRzo8ei8 https://t.co/jnnCNTTypZ
Also forgot that @Meaningness wrote about hope here: https://t.co/gTYWksHRB9