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Anti-assholes can become even worse assholes than the perhaps-relatively-innocuous assholes who made them. They can be weaponized, vengeful asshole vigilantes. I hear about this so often in private, and/but almost never in public. Everyone has an AAA relative or acquaintance

The reason I think is that average people are scared of confronting assholes, scared of inviting the wrath of assholes. Assholes can harass and harangue you for hours, days, months, years. Causing you pain, misery and shame is what gets them off

Because we’re so bad and slow at coordinating action with one another (which is, as far as I can tell, a necessary prerequisite for calmly and firmly shutting assholes down), individual assholes are allowed to terrorize & dominate everything from house parties to the White House

Assholes make up about 1% of most groups, cause about 75% of the damage, and ruin everybody's experience. And we let them, because we still haven't learned to do better. https://t.co/MwqyqdOefO


There’s no nice way to say it: some people are assholes. The mature thing to do is to focus on the behavior, not the person. But regardless, asshole behavior is real, and it’s a problem - a huge problem, actually, because assholism has a way of hijacking and derailing good things


Reflecting this morning on how my starting conditions were a lot more hostile, cold, abrasive and distant than I choose to remember. I think it’s actually quite remarkable that I’m not much more of an asshole; all credit for that goes to the libraries & storytellers who raised me https://t.co/evTjkNiupW



funny thought: this is a really long-winded way to say that I hate assholes but I really do, I really hate assholes they disproportionately ruin everything (and few people say anything, because they don't want to invite the wrath of assholes, which is also disproportionate)

@visakanv do you think if there were just more caring and loving and supportive environment for more ppl, this problem would solve itself? like, the ppl you’re referring to must be really messed up in some ways that could be cured in a better environment. a bit of an chicken and egg maybe