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i was scared, not just for “ego reasons,” but bc i felt like i was living in Guess Culture, where im supposed to be monitoring these things, no one will directly tell me, and they’ll secretly resent these things but that’s just not how a lot of the world around me works anymore
these days, i meet people, potential friends, from a diversity of places most of them don’t know each other there is no single coherent group i can just be that person saying whatever, making whatever asks, and let that affect people as it may
— they’re not there because they’re part of some fixed family or village group with you they can’t leave https://t.co/WUnO5ZGYoC
if you’re annoying to them, they will simply leave, and this is the way the world is and if you’re on a work project with them, or church group, or so on, be a bit more polite and careful. don’t be a pain https://t.co/eMhimAelUs
just estabilish compatibility or not, and be ready to move on or take it slower, and allow trust to build up, that’s fine too or just let them remain at a distance, if you need to see them around politely but don’t… be confused about which option you are choosing
all of these are limerence free bc 1. just saying what you want, without being attached to them responding a certain way, is limerence-free 2. letting an actual relationship develop is limerence-free 3. not doing anything means you can just engage with their impact on u, also-
if you’re annoying to them, they will simply leave, and this is the way the world is and if you’re on a work project with them, or church group, or so on, be a bit more polite and careful. don’t be a pain https://t.co/eMhimAelUs
just estabilish compatibility or not, and be ready to move on or take it slower, and allow trust to build up, that’s fine too or just let them remain at a distance, if you need to see them around politely but don’t… be confused about which option you are choosing
all of these are limerence free bc 1. just saying what you want, without being attached to them responding a certain way, is limerence-free 2. letting an actual relationship develop is limerence-free 3. not doing anything means you can just engage with their impact on u, also-
@AskYatharth this part feels challenging to me -- not getting really disappointed if it doesn't work out / taking it to mean something negative about me or a judgment against my ask (which has religious trauma written all over it) what helped you to detach?
@puheenix does this help https://t.co/JAx5kbNnnH