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so, I'm pretty sure a huge part of the attraction in positive masculinity is something like strong enough to hurt you trustworthy enough not to guys who listen to the notion that they should be nonthreatening in flirting tend to emphasize the latter but also nullify the former.
@ElodesNL Bi guy here. This part of attraction to masc guys for me is: Dangerous when needed, gentle when not. You want him to be dangerous to others should the need arise. And maybe a little dangerous toward you if he has good self control. Flirting is usually a time to be gentle.
@VividVoid_ Yup! Agreed that in general you don't want to feel threatened (unless you're shit-testing, then you probably want some pushback); you just want to be sure he could be threatening if need be. That possibility makes his gentleness so much more meaningful.
@VividVoid_ https://t.co/ih5r9PpS3z
@sullyj3 @VividVoid_ maybe I should have clarified; there's bad shit-testing, but also playful shit-testing, e.g. teasing people. it's a super common mode of interaction and one that i think can be both manipulative and very good (or bad depending on how it's done).